White flag

I have surrendered. For the past few months I have held onto Faith, Hope and the future until my hands have cramped and my fingers have bled. I am letting go now. I have lost my faith, I have lost all hope, and the thought of even one moment into the future is too exhausting to think about. So, I have let go and I am falling into the darkness. I will land soon. I will be alone in my darkness. My angel is not coming back. all the doors are locked from the outside. There is no Aztec Warrior Princess. She was a figment of my imagination, a dream I cannot achieve. I have accepted my fate. I am not afraid. I have sadness and despair with me which I will keep locked inside my secret dark place with me. I will go on, I will smile and say I am good, because that's what others need to hear. I will go on because I do not want to leave sadness in the hearts of those I love. I will go on because I wish to see my grandchildren grow up and they are a bright spot in all this madness. My pain is mine and my alone. It has decided to stay. It will be my secret companion. Thank you all who have tried to help, it was stronger than us all. I am tired and have no weapons left to fight. Maybe Faith and Hope will find me again some day, and until then I will be here waiting......